How to pee with a boner

A common men’s problem

Men are all too aware of how uncomfortable it can be to experience morning wood, as it is sometimes called. This is the boner that appears out of the blue in the morning, in a moment when the urge to urinate is likely to occur after eight hours of sleep, whether you’re a man or a woman, but morning wood makes this substantially more difficult.

On the internet, some depicted this situation with funny strips with the most likely and unlikely solutions to handle that situation. You may be wondering whether these amusing illustrations could actually be implemented in real life. Yes, somebody tried.

When a guy has an erection, the bladder really shuts down due to a little organic “valve” that is thought to help prevent accidentally peeing. As a result, urinating while having an erection is possible, however, the stream’s course and pressure could be unpredictable.

Fortunately, there are a few methods you may use to avoid unintentionally peeing on your partner’s bathroom floor in the morning. The majority of the men reading this have probably already thought of a handful of these ideas on their own:

Let’s start with the Wait, which is undoubtedly one of the more popular strategies.

The wait

This one involves, as the name suggests, getting out of bed and going in the bathroom, then thinking about the least sexy things imaginable (fish, granite, mathematics, etc…) while you wait for your penis to get back to normal. Although it is the simplest of the lot, it takes time but it can be feasible.

The lunge

Believe it or not, ladies and men all across the world are already using the lunge. Because it’s one of the less complicated solutions and there are some situations in which you just cannot wait. To reduce spillage, simply put one foot in front of the other as if you were lunging at the gym, bend your knees, and limit the space between the toilet bowl and man parts. It works, but it demands focus and is not infallible. The risk is to not have a perfect angle anyway and miss the target.

The frog

This one requires turning away from the toilet and straddling it like a frog, making it one of the more practical ones on this list. It’s a little unpleasant because you may touch the inner part of the bowl with your penis but certainly works.

The handstand

This one might be accomplished with great success by those who are more acrobatically inclined. The risk is peeing on your face and then slipping.

The Superman

Superman is one of the messier alternatives; you have to press a portion of your body against the toilet bowl and spread your arms and legs out to balance as if you were flying quicker than a speeding bullet. As there is literally no way to miss this procedure, it might be worthwhile in the end, however slightly bigger endowed guys would want to think twice. It’s hard to put into practice and has the same risks as ‘the frog’.

The portal

One for enthusiasts of video games but the more unrealistic. You will effectively just be urinating on the wall without a real portal gun to use to rip a hole in space and time for your urine to pass through. Not suggested but you can replace it with a portable urinal.

The blow dryer

This clever trick uses a blow dryer’s air to steer the stream in an arc toward the bowl. Strange to pull off, and it somewhat gives the impression that you are playing a video game. However, it’s feasible but not handy.

The gymnast

As ‘the handstand’, it requires acrobatic skills and a rope hanging from the ceiling of your toilet. It’s not impossible, but it’s unlikely.

The tube

Finally, find a tube and attach it to your penis. After that, direct the tube to discharge its payload into the bowl. This will surely make you hit the target and avoid splashes but you need to have a tube at your disposal.

Some useful advice

Anyway, the need to pee with a boner is a common issue for guys, therefore we listed some more useful advice that can help to face the problem.

‘The wait’ solution above mentioned is not a bad idea because sitting and waiting for the erection to subside may happen after a few minutes, and this will make it easier to pee.

In addition, sitting down to pee can help reduce the angle of the erection, making it easier to aim, almost like in ‘the frog’ position.

However, also leaning forward slightly while standing can also help reduce the angle of the erection, although it can be more difficult than sitting.

Another solution could be placing a warm compress, such as a warm washcloth, on the penis for a few minutes before attempting to pee. This can help relax the muscles and make it easier to urinate.

Another way to relax is to practice deep breathing: Taking slow, deep breaths can help relax the body and reduce anxiety, which can make it easier to pee.

Finally, if you’re going to take a shower, this can be the place where to pee without worrying about flow direction.